Sylvester Stallone is starring in a Bollywood movie.

If you need proof that the Day of Judgment is coming, look no further.

That’s correct. England’s Daily Telegraph reports Rambo will be shaking his steroid injected kundee alongside Akshay Kumar in the movie Kambakht Ishq.

This is supposed to be the most expensive Bollywood movie ever, and rumor has it Denise Richards and Arnold Schwarzenegger have been approached to be in it too.

Hmm, Steven Segal must have been busy.

Bollywood must seriously be lowering the bar if they’re asking Rambo, Kindergarten Cop and whatever lame movie character Denise Richards has played, to be in Bollywood movies. If that’s the case, maybe I have a chance. I better start practicing the opening song in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.

I was never a big fan of Bollywood growing up and it wasn’t until recently that I started watching them. I came across a box of my dad’s VHS tapes from the 1970s. I also came across a picture of my dad with sideburns and a huge Indian afro that gives me another reason why I think he’s my hero.

Anywho, the movie I watched from the box was Mughal-E-Azam. It’s based on a famous tale about an emperor who objects to his son falling in love with a slave girl named Anarkali. Before, I would treat this film as a stereotypical Bollywood “father won’t let his kid marry the poor person” plot.

But I was taken back by how stunning the cinematics were. My preconceived notions of cheesy dancing were replaced by my amazement of how vivid the backdrops came to life, visualizing one of India’s most famous tales.

What I also enjoyed about these movies was how pure they were. Love is beautiful in essence, but these days was been ransacked in mainstream movies by our country’s obsession with sex.

And that’s what I began enjoying about these Bollywood movies. They were unlike anything that I’ve ever seen before. Soon, I began renting any classic I could get my hands on, whether it be old school classics like Deewar and Sholay or newer ones like Lagaan and Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gham.

Unfortunately, it’s harder to find a good Bollywood movie these days. Indian directors fill their movies with gratuitous sex and other ways to emulate American movies. In some cases, they blatantly steal plot ideas (See Fight Club: Members Only).

What I don’t understand is why fix a system that isn’t broken? Bollywood is the biggest film industry in the world. Why copy other industries that aren’t?

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with the American culture (that disclaimer should get the FBI off my back, I hope). But why most so many non-American cultures undermine themselves and try to emulate America? I thought diversity is what makes this world beautiful.

I noticed that Bollywood movies are huge among nations with high amounts of poverty, such as India, Somalia, Jamaica, Bangladesh, etc. etc. Why? I think the rich vibrant cultural music and dancing is a refreshing escape from grim reality.

Films have a tendency to prosper during tough economic times. Notice how here in the United States our economy is doing terrible yet film sales are set to pass $4 billion this summer.

I don’t want to see Sylvester Stallone in a Bollywood movie, unless he puts down his machine gun and bhangra dances in the Swiss mountains. It sure as hell would be more interesting than Rocky VI.